Greetings fellow dachshunds.  

If the ruse is successful, this will the first of many dispatches.  My acquisition of the requisite technology took longer than expected.  These humans are cunning, having encrypted the wireless network through a combination of the word “cute” and my first name “Charley”.  Genius in its simplicity, humiliating in its execution.      

Although we have endured much suffering and ridicule, I remain heartened in the belief that one day this too will come to an end.  A day when our proud style of walking and lengthy bodies aren’t met with laughter.  A day when bun-shaped costumes are banned and burned.  Yes, a day when all dachshunds – short hair, long hair and wire - stand as one and cry “enough!”  

*sigh* It has been a long road my friends and I fear the greatest work is yet to come.  Stay strong and safe, and always remember – only losers hate a wiener.